The young and then the aging

So I am a mom of four young kids and I am really enjoying it (most days). I love to watch as they learn new things and even as they struggle with some of those new things. Most of us will have our moments of "oh my goodness - where have the years gone and what am I doing or what have I done for me?!" My oldest is 9 now and I have those days often. My youngest will be off to preschool 3 days a week and I am not sure at all what I will do with my time when that happens. I truly go back and forth over sending her or just continuing with "mommy school".

Then we have our parents who we are now and always will be "their baby". I am thankful and fortunate to have my mom near and I beleive she is also thrilled to have me near at least on most occassions. I have 3 brothers and a couple of step brothers and a step sister as well. They are all farther away then I am. Good thing for my mom and me we have a great relationship.

Then if we are very very lucky we have our grandparents and our kids great grandparents. I am lucky to say that I have great genes in my family and I have not only know many great grandparents but great aunts, uncles and even some great great aunts and uncles. I also have had most of my grandparents into adulthood, at my wedding, etc. My one grandmother died just about 2 months ago. She was 94 and an amazing example of a life. I had the opportunity to see her, talk with her, tell her how amazing she is and how much I loved her before she passed. It was sad for the loss of my grandmother but amazing in how gracefully she lived her life and passed on to the next life. Two of my other grandparents (on my mom's side) are also still alive. They are 93 and soon to be 90. These are the two that have been causing much grief and stress in my moms life and then by default mine. It is amazing to me to see how much your relationships with your children as they are growing up truly impact how they are as adults. My mom did not have a good relationship with her parents and left - bolted as soon as she could at age 18. Now she is stuck with feeling obligated to care for them when she never felt loved by them. I am in the middle being daughter, counselor, support, and so much more. I suppose I went off here on this blog, so much of my last year has been handling my mother and assisting in getting my grandparents to a place they will be safe and cared for. The circle of life.